A Republican, Libertarian, and Democrat go into a restaurant (I'm sorry)

A Republican in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee on him.

The next patron to come in was a Libertarian with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there, honey! How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Miller Light!" He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?" The waitress once more nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold glass of beer. "On my bill," he said.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus also passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.

Then Jesus walked towards the Democrat who shouted out....

"Don't touch me! I'm collecting disability!"

It Has Happened!

http://money.cnn.com/2006/02/17/technology/apple_virus.reut/index.htm?cnn=yes

Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!

Before:


After:

Four Things (I like this one!)

Four Things

Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. Grain elevator attendant (image wet, rotten grain)
2. Telemarketer
3. That one job that I thought I would like, but didn't
4. Senior Business Analyst (my job now)

Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. Movies are tough, I'm not much of a repeat offender.

Four books I could read over & over:
1. This is a trick question.

Four places you have lived:
1. Norwich, Kansas
2. Searcy, Arkansas
3. Herndon, Virginia
4. Arlington, Virginia

Four TV shows you like to watch:
1. Amazing Race
2. Survivor
3. American Idol (just started watching this season)
4. The Apprentice

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. La Romana, Dominican Republic
2. Obidos, Portugal
3. Sorrento, Italy
4. Rio de Janeiro, Brasil (okay, this was technically part of an international campaign at Harding, but the days in Rio were only for fun, so it counts)

Four web sites I visit daily:
1. jeffucious.blogspot.com (shameless plug)
2. www.news8.net
3. www.fark.com
4. www.gene2drug.com (my company website)

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Pizza
2. Ice Cream
3. Chocolate
4. Granola Bars

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Home
2. Any Beach
3. Anywhere Mild, but not Hot
4. (See vacation spots)

The Wisdom of Jeffucious

For those who don't know, there's all sorts of blogging excitement going on over at jeffucious.blogspot.com, and I highly recommend checking it out! However, don't think that the same ole' wisdom you've grown to know and love here at The Proctor Post is going away. Quite the contrary!

Taking a lead from Sammie's Post, I'd like to talk about a few of the wonderful characters from my 1st graduate class, going on now:

1) "Off-Topic Lady" - she has great things to say, that have nothing at all to do with the topic at hand. Oh, but she tries to make them relate! Meanwhile, the other 20 people in the class look at each other with horror. Oh yeah, "Off-Topic Lady" also has a second personality that turns her in to "Easy Way Out Lady", always asking if the professors notes will be available online or for a study guide for the final exam. The professor finally replied, "This IS a graduate class". It was sad/funny.

2) "Militant Mike" - while I should preface this by saying that about half of my class is military-related (it is near the Pentagon), "Militant Mike" takes it to a new level. I am continually impressed by his ability to turn ANYTHING into a military tactical situation. That reminds me of.....nevermind.

3) "Mr. Know-It-All" - clearly someone has to be the smartest person in the class. Equally as clear is the fact that a certain someone thinks that he IS that person. Every class seems to have one of these people, and I make it my goal to be sure to stick it to him as much as possible.

4) "Mr. Funny-Funny Ha-Ha" - this guy is great. He can take the most boring subjects from the class and shed an intellectual, yet humorous light to them. Who would have thought that international human rights issues could be funny? He certainly did, and it was great. By the way, this guy is me.

5) "Ms. I Could Beat You Up, Easily" - knowing that the class is military-oriented, it should have come as no surprise that I might find myself near the bottom of the strength food chain. The surprise, of course, is that gender does not seem to be a factor here. IF, by chance, Ms. I Could Beat You Up, Easily, you happen to be reading this.......this is Mr. Know-It-All.....signing off.